May 2013
24 posts
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I wrote about where to get slutty in Berlin. The... →
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“In a hundred years, when historians are looking back at reality TV shows to...”
– My interview on VICE with Alexis Neiers about reality tv, her plans to become the next Dr. Drew, and how much Sofia Copolla sucks.
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Teenagers Making Out at a Holocaust Memorial
Midway through my trip to Berlin, I walked to the Memorial for the Murdered Jews of Europe with my friend Amber*. She said the memorial was a maze designed to make visitors temporarily loose their friends, as Holocaust victims lost their friends and family forever. But to me the memorial just looked like rows of walls. Short walls, tall walls, medium walls; walls, walls, walls. I didn’t...
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“I’m a religious guy looking for another guy into God.”
– Actual Grindr profile description.
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My Livejournal Sucks: Miami →
mylivejournalsucks:
I never meant to go to Miami. As a vacation destination, it never interested me much. It seemed like Las Vegas on an island which, quite frankly, sounds disgusting. But an opportunity presented itself when one of my close friends told me that she was going to be in Fort Lauderdale visiting…
Throw some drugged out parents and child abuse in here and you have a vivid...
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“The more I wrote, the more I understood the choices I made, and that was the...”
– Roseanne Barr as Roseanne Conner, “Into That Good Night (Part 2),” Roseanne, 1997.
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“Tears are not common.”
– Mary Maclane.
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“It wasn’t until I started reading and found books they wouldn’t let us read in...”
– John Waters (via perfect)
ATTENTION NEW YORK PEOPLE
Does anyone want to see Courtney Love with me June 27th?!?! She’s playing in Westchester. My brother has a car in Brooklyn. I can drive us! Someone come with meh!
BRITTICISMS: Something about how I have been... →
britticisms:
Something about how I have been called “white” because I am a writer. Something about how I have been called “white” because of what I write about, because I write about race in weird ways and because I will also not write about race at all. There is a photo of me attached to my stories. This does…
In a single paragraph, Brittany Julious can say more than most writers say in...
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Notes on Returning to the Interweb
I took a 48 hour break from the internet. I went with other students to this resort on the Isle of White for a night. When I returned tonight, I was quickly reminded why I hate and love the internet. On the negative side of the spectrum someone tweeted me asking me to jump off a bridge. But on the plus side:
1.) A high school friend messaged me to tell me one of our friends sprained her ankle...
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“Some people never get beyond the stupid part, but you can see the real me...”
– Paris Hilton, 2006. I just returned from my forty-eight hour internet vacation. I’m exhausted from traveling and spending my Friday night listening to Paris while reading Elizabeth Wurtzel, which is as American as listening to Bruce Springsteen while eating McDonalds chicken nuggets.
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“I’ve never had a lover, so it was an awkward embrace.”
– Alissa Nutting might be my favorite millenial fiction writer. This girl is killing it.
April 2013
46 posts
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Jason Collins Proves Coming Out is a Good Career...
On April 15, 1947, Major League Baseball’s first black player, Jackie Robinson, walked onto the diamond at Ebbets Field unsure what would happen next. It was a year before President Harry Truman integrated the armed forces, as Jackie’s daughter Sharon wrote in the New York Times, and everyone thought the Dodgers were insane. Jackie Robinson had good reason to worry someone might kill him.
But...
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Blue Like I'd Never Known
Tonight is the night before May Day, a celebration in Oxford where everyone gets really drunk and then jumps off a bridge as Magdalen choir sings. I planned to go out with Kit and some other bitches tonight, but my body just can’t handle it. The last two days I have slept a total of twenty-six hours—the universal Mitchell signal for my blood being off and/or my immunities not being...
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Good news for my dad: I wrote about sports for... →
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Sad Pretty Boys and Mean Internet Commenters: Just...
A few weeks ago, I received heat for only writing negative articles on contemporary life. Since I’m a sensitive fuss who absorbs every negative comment (and therefore should never have started writing on the internet in the first place), the negative reaction sent me to my bed, where I lay wondering if my writing had no positive effect, as if writers were supposed to serve a higher calling,...
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“Furthermore, I had a gorgeous husband who reassured me I’d be pregnant with his...”
– Samantha Brick is an incredible troll and very, very underrated writer.
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“If you love something, keep it off the internet.”
– Someone from grantland said this during a podcast; I couldn’t tell who. It’s such a true statement. I wish I had learned it earlier, although I’m sort-of glad I destroyed some friendships. In the long run, it might be better for me that they ended. I’m still sad though.
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“You’re a good writer. You’re just a terrible person.”
– Drunk Oxford boy screaming at me outside a men’s room. #57DaysLeftInEngland
“I think, like all stories that capture this much attention, there’s something...”
– Nancy Jo Sales.
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“In my experience, though, I’ve noticed that there’s a general lack of judgment...”
– Ryan O’Connell.
“We walk around the noiseless village, and my head is quickly filling with...”
– Laura Albert as J.T. Leroy.
“Soon, the fireworks start. We find a spot near other Americans, where there...”
– Laura Albert as J.T. Leroy.
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In this podcast, Molly Young gives the best... →
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EXACTLY TWO MONTHS TILL I RETURN TO AMERICA
I’m officially flying back to New York City, from England, on June 22nd. I will arrive on the morning of the 23rd. I have never been more excited to eat Chipotle, read at ‘sNice, attend readings at McNally Jackson’s, ride the subway, meet interweb people irl, scream at people who cut me off, and bask in the anonymity of Manhattan. See you then.
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“I’d always felt that my mother wore her grief as a badge of pride, that...”
– Anya Yurchyshyn.
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Dylan Klebold, age 17
Eric Harris, age 18
James Holmes, age 20
Adam Lanza, age 20
Dzohokhar Tsarnaev, age 19
Instead of arguing about immigration and muslim extremism, we should have a community discussion about what drives young males to murder innocent people, because there is two connections between these crimes and those connections are the killers’ age and gender.
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“In one of the most anticipated plays of the season, Nora Ephron’s Lucky Guy, Tom...”
– A.) This article is sad, amazing, and revlatory.
B.) Who can get me tickets to Lucky Guy when I get back to New York?
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“My hard drive is steeped in shame, and none of it’s porn. All of it is work that...”
– Sarah Nicole Prickett
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Somedays, I Hate the Internet
Yesterday I went to a meeting for an Oxford club I belong to. I sat at a pub table with other club members, people I barely know. Midway through the meeting, the boy next to me said, “That Mitchell person was just awful.”
I knew I was that Mitchell person. Ever since they discovered I talked about my life online, students here have read my Twitter and writing; last semester at least...
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Lessons of the Week
1.) Twitter and the New York Post are entertainment, not news sources. Anyone who reads either for news is an idiot.
2.) No matter what I write, someone will always disagree and/or hate what I write.
3.) Never read the comments.
4.) Commenters are hating on their idea of the author and/or what they think the article says about the reading. They rarely are hating on the quality of the writing.
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