A.) Every time I see a white girl drunk in a club vomiting on a bouncer, I think, “If her helicopter parents had listened to “Overprotected” in the context of those pictures of Britney Spears striping on a pole at a gay club, then maybe their daughter wouldn’t have grown up to be the DARK Britney Spears.”(Because she’s totes the Dark Phoenix from X-Men!)

B.) HOW EERIE IS THE BALD BRITNEY AT THE START OF THIS VIDEO? HER DIRECTOR WAS A FUCKING PROPHET!!!

C.) Posts like these are why my date with that fact checker from The New Yorker was a #failure.