I hate theatre people more than I hate anime kids, but I enjoy watching Donna Murphy sing about child abuse, so I waited in Central Park for six hours for free Into the Woods tickets. Since they lacked caffeine and like to dramatize situations, the theatre people said some pretty stupid shit this morning.
“My blog has so many comments!”-Eleven year old.
“I need to go to rehab. I’m a Book of Mormon JUNKIE.”-Her brother.
“Theatre people look out for each other.”-Teenage girl who also doubles as an anime kid.
“I’ve been waiting here…since nine thirty last night.”-Mother who forced her kids to sleep on the sidewalk to ensure she saw a musical. Shockingly, she wasn’t a witch played by Donna Murphy.
“Can we have fried chicken and French fries?”-Guy in a fedora ordering take-out at 7:30 a.m.
In short, I need my hot tea and want to die. JUST GIVE ME MY TICKETS.